yo mama jokes

I was just reading some *yo MAMA jokes* and below are some good colllections :

1. Yo mama is so short you can see her feet on her passport picture.
2. Yo mama is so ugly the mirror did not make an reflection.                                       
3. Yo mama is so old in her time Burger King was know as Burger Prince
4. Yo momma’s so poor she cant even pay attention.
5. Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a wireless phone.
6. Your mums so fat when I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
7. yo mamas so dirty that she makes the mud clean
8. Yo mamma so hairy she has afros on her nipples.
9. Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car.
10. Your mum is so fat when she sat at the back of the bus it pulled a wheelie.
11.  Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.

So dats all the good ones

and i made a few my own

1. yo mamas chests so flat that the plane takes off from there
2. yo mamas farts are so enormous it made the summer hot
3. yo mamas eyeballs are so huge ppl thought its an eclipse 
4. yo mamas so dumb she call the fashion dogs HOT dogs
5. yo mamas so fat wen she sit on the balloon the balloon burst and pumps the football up

idk wat makes me create these ^ jokes, bt hope u guys like IT !! XLL

New shifted house!

Tym is goin fast, ders only a month and half and school starts which means STUDY!!! Nways nt in a mood of toking bout school! I just gt shifted to my new house few days ago….. everythings r great here bt jus SHOWER INTERNET! Im able to be posting here, thx to the generous wireless man who never swtch of his modem and no passwords!! Bt he the generous wireless man often ruins the happiness wen im onlyn chatting at the peak, he switchs off the modem =.=”….. i knw i should be thankful bt i do hate him for this…..

Nways i have to get my internet back asap, cant dependent on this generous man… so yeah back to wats the main in this post… i finally shifted to my new house, its jus awesome….swimming pool, gym, steam room, shuna ( how to spell? someone corect me) A/C all for free…. and finally got a room myself, which means freedom, no nid to worry bout nthing else, muhahaha can stay up late, use pc without permission, no nid to change clothes in the toilet anymore ( i have to change clothes in toilet wen i was sharing my room wid grandma and sis) etc etc…. its jus so coool having a room all for my self!! *.^

Nways this house consist of 2 sitting rooms a big kitchen 3 big bedrooms and 4 toilets and a housemate room….one day wen im able to transfer photos to the pc i will share my new house pics with u ppL!! wait i hv got sumtin to say……. bt it seems dat i got nothing to say, u knw wat i mean?? nways so dats all this tym !! PEACE——–

Btw these days i found out sumtin bout my friends, each and everyone of em has a sign their own while they chat

1. Haziq = XD

2. Julia =  XS

3. Lyka = XDDD

4. Patrick = Fanta

5. Berzon = a-shole

6. Nagi = <.<

7. etc etc

okay now finally i made one for myself    XL (take that) huh!!

First hangout JULY 2009

SO yesterday was the posponed hangout, my back is much much betta than before so im allowed to go out *evil smile*, now its painless bt a hole is still der, bt nways since its painless ders nothing else to worry bout! Though ders a scar it reminds me dat it was cuz of my ever first operation jus as lyka said!!

So the hangout was okay,(ppl invited= julia nagi patrick lyka haziq berzon and ME of cuz) nothing really special bt it was fun…. especially the ride we went, the Bouncy Merry Lamb ride dats how i called it, it was DAMN CRAZY,  i wasnt ready wen the ride started, i got flew off the seat at the first second, it was so bouncy and jumpy, i fell onto the sides of the ride since one of my hand was busy holding my glasses, some how my unhealed properly back got scratched, blood were on my shirt bt i didnt feel nthing cuz the bounces on the ride drove off my attention! Nways everyone was sweating lyk hell after the ride and we were all looking so damn wack …. dat was one of the fun tym we had….

N actually we were planning to watch a movie bt da tyming arent so perfect so we denied it! After the ride we bought some drinks and headed to Ikea for FOOOOD!! Food der is cheap and goood 4 bucks for a hotdog and refillable drinks…. it was funny we were making jokes and lame abbreviations!! Nways dat was very funny, u will know y if u were with us ( nagi berzon patrick JULIA haziq and ME)

 Actually im nt in a so good mood of posting, bt yeah after ikea we went to the bowling center der was a breakdance battle it was amazing bt i was billiyarding wen dey were battlin …..

Nways so dats all this tym, this post might be boring, promise a better post nxtt tym!! TC ppl peaceout!

BTW sum how i got 10bucks load for free wen i purchase the 20bucks du recharge card nways ……

16th Birthday =-(

Well yeah, 2 days ago on the 16th, it was my 16th Birthday! Dat was the worst birthday i have ever had…. cuz one day before 16th which is 15th, i was in the hospital carrying out an operation, i was suffering from a back abscess….below are the processes of the operation…… (my first ever had operation in ma entire life)

*they called my name

*they told me to lie on bed

*pull up ma shirt

*4 (four) narcotic injections were injected around the abscess area (a lil painful, i hate injections)

*a sharp blade was used to make a cut in the abscess area,, ( not sure how many cuts they made)

*stuff der (the to b cure area) started squezzing out, like rotten meat, blood, blah blah…. jus ewwwwwwwwww stuff

*big bandages were put on top ( to be put for 2 days)

*end of the operation process ( process took place = around 10 mins) ( painful stat = medium)

So yeah, this is how the back abscess caused

*two weeks ago, i was having sum challenge in the bball court, that was a really awesome game i played bt while i BLOCKED that big ass guy, we both fell like shit, my back was badly scratched, it was actually almost recovered after a week or so, bt sumhow dat unhealed spot was being attacked by bacteria which made it blowed up ( like an egg ) that we call it abscess….

Okay now today on the 18th, i took the bandages off and OUCH it hurted so damn bad… cuz the dried blood was glued with the cotton on the bandage and got ma dad to cut it off with scissor… anyways… now the cut is similar to a bullet hole… a damn nt so deep hole around 3 cm with 1 buck coin size cut….. hope its gonna heal it sooon and no SCAR =.*…..alryt its getting cold … nxt sub

lets tok bout sumtin nice, i have recieved a totally no more no less 600 bucks on my bday from my family and relatives, and finally got few gifts, the phone in the previous post was my bday from ma day and OOOOOOHHHHH, my girl she bought me a shirt which is so hmm hot and cute?!!!!!! Did i jus said cute?? =.= nways… It was blue checkered and yeah!! a pretty gud idea of hers…..nways..I LOVE YOU GIRL and THX DADA

So yeah dats all for today, hope you ppl enjoy reading it….. and hey the HANGOUT posponed to 23rd july, the coming thurs….  c ya guys der…..!!!

Btw im a MAN now, cuz im 16 YEARS OLD!!! ( *wink* )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIMPYLIMPS !!!  (screaming yahh yiii yiii whhooo ho)

Update BLOG STATS

697 hits…..hehe

6 months review….

All ryt followers….. i knw the the absence of my posts have been a hard tym for u ppl… im sorry guys im here back again!!! THE LIMPYLIMPS!!! ^.^ *hope u guys aint mad*

YEAH, i have been a lot through this whole 6 months, got a lot to share! 1st of all…. i lost ma  babe…. i mean my bike bet u guys forgot about it already.. but luckily found it back in one of my friends apartment’s stair case… nxt iccident…. i finally tried…..oh that was so so sweet and romantic…. i know u guys understand… if nt then dont understand.. oh ryt on the 6th of march that was my 5th monthsary of my relationship with julia haw kham.. i wrote a song for her using the back ground music of the song *whatever you like*, wat surprised me is she loved dat song i was kinda hmm happy since i have wrote it for days *song lyrics are at the end of the post* …nways nxt iccident… actually i kind of forget wat really happened in those passed 6 months…. im regretin for nt posting my daily stuff here….. bt a few imp stuffs are of cuz memorized properly, such as hmm well kind of forgot them also…. sorry guys..=.+”

OH yeah i came 7th in overall, the exam rankings…. which is nt so perfect i mean nt gud at all Xp….. ma mom was mad at me cuz i use to be 1st or 2nd in the previous years… i admit i was a lil playful this year bt i did learn a lot new stuff beside studies like *hw to tok with girls *getting more practise in bball *sleep late bt wake up early *hmm learn a lil tecktonic *betta biking *more cinema *more hangouts……….. my mom just dnt understand I NID LYF, she wants me to be nerd as the ppl whos nerd… arggh

nways oh ryt got a few new shoes and a new phone which are displayed below!! and nowdays im obssessed wid strawberry favour of fanta!!! hehe

last but not the least…. I PROMISE YOU GUYS, BLOG WILL  B UPDATE ONCE IN A WHILE!!  I LOVE YOU PPL AND MORE LOVE TO MY SPECIAL ONES!! =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 

Limpylimps - UR MA FACOURITE GIRL lyrics *music used watever you like by T.I*

*You and I, are the same type

Feelings are on the whole time

And NANG you’re my favourite girl

Fact can never be denied (yeah)
Though ur sad or sick or mad,

I’ll be the one that you can lie

And NANG you’re my favourite girl

Fact can never be denied (yeah)
remember the night when, song got pasted

I was damn hyper while hands were shaky

I was like damn =.=” wth had my sis gone beyond and gone crazy
Yeah, I was so so curious, wasn’t so serious
long as you impress me， i won’t need nobody
You had me txted, had me stressed, had me sweat yeah
and that was on the 3 rd of dec
You and I, can never get divide

Feelings are on the whole time

And NANG you’re my favourite girl

Fact can never be denied (yeah)
You in my mind, voted damn high

Ill never leave you at the side
And NANG you’re my favourite girl

Fact can never be denied (yeah)

 

Girl you at the toppest, never dressed for twice yet
song may be quite lame
cuz im in 9 th grade

Palms so soft, prove vazelin creamed on

nails on ur fingers they never grow too long

You never ever need to worry me when im out yeah

 

Cuz im big enough to take care of myself and

Trust me, don’t dump me, im still the same me

You should ever know that ur very unique

 

 

Girl call me whenever you want

Your hugs are so damn sick and warm

Remember the date when we make that out

That was on the day at 6 th of march

 

My heart got twisted due to your exists

long as you impress me， i won’t need nobody
You hold my hands , hold my breath, take a step

And you walkin to the future with me

 

 

Ur so kind and so wise

Treat me water whole time

And NANG you’re my favourite girl

Fact can never be denied (yeah)
late night spending time reading ur txt

reason that cause me eye bags
And NANG you’re my favourite girl

Fact can never be denied (yeah)
New York fries, blue black white
swear they the favourite stuff in yo life
And oh forget, that’s me so right

Let me flow at the history in yo life That’s right

 

yeah my studies went downgrade, see wat did you made

long as im smart I probably can manage

anyways since its you, that’s kinda ok  

I will never blame you cuz you’re my lady

 

 

So this the song, 5 month known
I have been rapping hell long

And NANG you’re my favourite girl

Fact can never be denied (yeah)

 

hangouts that all we had so long

wanna keep this love cool well gone

you’re my favourite girl

And NANG U always be my girl…. (yeah)*

WELL WELL WELL DONE!!!  rate the song out of 10!!

New phone

 new laptop …etc etc PEACE OUT!!

Stupid happenings in 2009*

Hey guys i know its again been a while i havent post here, a lot funny and stupid happened these days wait i will tell u wat !! Its all below:

31th/Dec/2008

My ever eighth cigaratte smoked! My aunt gave me another cigaratte since its the last day of 2008, so i accepted and yes of cuz smoked, this time i am away better than before, i 80% did rit… smoking!! My aunt gave me a big hand *clap clap*

1st/Jan/2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!! Gahh i know its late, sorry for this late wish readers!! So i decided to wish, HAPPY OLD YEAR!! Yeah anyways, i went to the Thai resturant with my family to celebrate, food der was great, they are all at least cooked well, sum resturants give their customers with live fish to eat+.*”

2nd/Jan/2009

I poked my uncles eye with frozen minced meat pack roll =.=” this is wat happened:

He (my uncle) came to my room with a frozen minced meat pack roll on his hand while i was teasing my baby sis.. then he placed it on my small brother, wtf rit?? Though its a joke its not funnny!! I was on the bed, he took it away then of cuz i give revenge, i kicked his hand and unfortunately, by mistakely, his hand with the frozen minced meat pack roll went on his eye, it started bleeding, dont be worrying for him, hes not blind, luckily! So then a cut on his eye, i guess he deserve it since he was playing fool on my small brother…….

3rd/Jan/2009

Then this day, my aunt requested me to take my cousin (her son) to the saloon to give him a haircut, she was on the phone explaining me wat kind of haircut she wants for her son, and of cuz i was concentrating on wat she was explaining but still i dont understand, so i went to the saloon and ask the barber for a mushroom haircut…….. hahahahahahahaha i was laughing like hell on my cousins hair, sooo f**king funny, exactly like mushroom but in big size!!!!

So both my cousin and my uncle are ruined by my me!! I am proud of myself!!! Wondering wat will my aunt do to see her husband with broken eye and son wit freaking risky haircut!……..lol

4th/Jan/2009

First day of skool, okay i got my exam marks, which does surprised me a lot! All C & D grades…… wondering wat my dad is gonna do to me!! Wth is dat?? y cant  da teacher just give me sum extra 20 or 30 marks, gahh…… So anyways i dont want to talk about my studies anymore, so in the hometime, i am own transport, waiting for my mom to pick me, guess wat???!!! I went to the bathroom to pee, that time, the school is nearly empty, no more students but few conductors, i went inside the bathroom and open one particular bathroom door and locked myself to pee. After splashing, i unlocked the door and u know wat??the knock of the door is broken down, i cant open the door at all, i am stuck inside the toilet staring at the ah hums………. then luckily, thx to my mother, she born me tall, so that i climb over the door to get out of the toilet, wat a hard job, first time in my life i am climbing over the toilet door……. wtf is wrong?? Wat an unlucky day!!!!

5th/Jan/2009

Which is today, i am writing a post on www.limpylimps.wordpress.com and btw thinking for a gift for my  girlfriend, okay i have been keeping this secret for long, i am in a legal relationship with a girl, my face become red* lol  And tomorrows my gfs bday,  wat shall i give her?? ohh i got the idea, okay not telling here, my girl shes reading the post!!……..

hehehah MUhahaha

Cigaratte lesson

It was great day yesterday of  my entire life! It was the second time in my entire life i smoked! But it was creepy, i kept caughing while sucking the smoke into my throat, it was so so difficult to know exactly how to smoke…. below are wat i have learned

1*  light the cigaratte to make it active

2* suck the smoke into ur throat and hold for a while ( 1 to 2 secs)

3* release the smoke and it will automatically come out from ur nose EWW 0.O

4* open ur mouth after smoke has been released from ur throat and came out from ur nose

5* suck smoke again……

so this is the basic steps….it looks easy..but no its not wat u think… if u wanna be a professional smoker please visit www.profesionalsmokerlesson.limpy.com

of cuz the website is fake but u can still click on it…….hehe

so anyways, my first time smoke was with my aunt 4 days ago, i asked her for a cigaratte (of cuz asking as if i am serious) then she surprised me, she really gave me da cigarrate and gave permission for me to smoke…… and of cuz if she gives me permission and i dont take it that means no respect, so though how i hate smoking i have to do it!!=.=’ (wat the fuck rit?)

And yesterday the second time, my fathers friend gave me a cigaratte and said, * to be man, u must know how to smoke but dont get addicted* again (wat the fuck rit??)

So i tried smoking and it seems not that easy, envy of the guys knows how to smoke, they must practised smoking for years….. lol jk…i dont give a shit about it

So anyways, i used to post things happened yesterday not the present time, its cuz i have no time to post wat happened today, i am a way to busy to post, though i have time with the computer it gonna be around 12 in the midnight, so its again a starting of a new fresh day, so hope u readers understands…..

New shoes*

haha, adidas shop is making great discount these days, everything around 35 to 20 percent discounted, my dad bought 4 shoes from there, one out of em is for me, my second ever adidas shoes, which looks rili bright, its orange in its laces and fully black with its orange bottom so ppl can easily recognise me in the streets or anywhere wiht my adidas shoes on….  so anyways, hurry up if u wanna buy shoes or stuffs from the brand adidas*, or else the price of it will just jump back to its original price, so this is the shoeS* what do you think??

Finally again & hangout

Its been a while i havent post here L.L*    too busy the earlier days…

Haha, finall exams finished, skool finished, holidays starts, freedom comes,…..hahaha have been waiting for long for this particular day to approach, a good 15 days holidays…

So yeah at last, no more exams, the last 5 days were so so stressed, it made me no enough sleep (5 hrs a day), no enough time to communicate with my laptop, no time to eat, no TV, above all i can handle them but, theres a BUT, I HAVE TO STUDY..+.=”

Anyways, its all gud since exams are finally over, so yeah on thursday 18th dec 2008, went to DFC with Nick bmxing, it was the first journey we two together only and sumtin realy bad happened * we reached the DFC by around 50 mins, then called out our friends *naji,mj,ali,damoor,nur sultan*  from skool whom were there shoppong already. They came to us then started requesting us to show wat we can do on our bikes, nick was showing them a trick which was the easiest jumping over bike, that was the most common and easy trick, wat we didnt expect happened * he fell over hitting my bike seat while bunnyhopping over my bike and dive on to the ground like how the swimmers use to do and slide about a meter with his elbows on attouching to the ground, and his bike flipped 2 times in air…..* damn that was a great fall, he had his elbows full bleeding and had wrist pumped…=.=”  and couldnt move his hand!  Later of course his father came and took him home….

So after he left i went to park my bike and joined my hommies hangout in the DFC.. we just went to the HYPER PANDA the supermarket there and played a good 2 hrs EBOX and ps3 football game, it was pretty fun but nothing much to do. So thats all for this post… hope you enjoy reading it!